Monday, February 28 |

Did you Phileo your family today?

It's Monday. I was not well rested when I woke up. It was raining. I was still exhausted from all the stress of an unusually busy Sunday (the day of 'rest', ironically), and by seven thirty I'd already cleaned up the last of yesterday's mess, in addition to the worst kind of mess that my three year old can possibly make, which I won't go into detail about. But it was gross. And it wasn't the first time. And I was mad. I was beyond mad.

I knew I needed to point my mind in a different, more healthy direction. I knew I needed to put into practice Col.  3:12-14, especially: "above all these things, put on charity, (love) which is the bond of perfectness".

I so did not feel like putting on charity. Then something I'd recently read came to mind. In the book  Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter, Ms. Vicki writes "Children are a blessing from the Lord, and it's up to us to remind our daughters (and/or sons) of that truth. When was the last time you told your children that they are a blessing? When was the last time they heard you say, 'I love being a mom'?"

So, answer the question - when was the last time? I don't know, to be honest. I know that they know I love them. I tell them all the time, and I show them as often as I can. But I don't think that the actual phrases 'I love being a mom,' or 'You children are a blessing (from the Lord),' have ever come out of my mouth.

I find myself wanting to be more vocal about the frustrations I have with my children than I do about the joys.

In Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, Dr. Eggerichs comments on Ephesians 5:33 and states that in this verse, husbands are commanded to agape, or love unconditionally, their wives; wives, however, are only commanded to reverence their husband. Nothing is said at all about wives loving their husbands. In Titus 2:4 they are told to love their husbands, but it's a different kind of love. It's a phileo (phil-a-o) love, which refers to the human, brotherly kind of love. Women were created to agape their mate and children. We are designed that way, which is why we aren't commanded in the Bible to agape. Dr. Eggerichs writes "... in the daily wear and tear of life, she is in danger of becoming discouraged - so discouraged that she may lack phileo. A kind of impatient unfriendliness can come over her. She may scold and sigh way too much. After all, there is always something or someone who needs correcting. She cares deeply. Her motives are filled with apape, but her methods lack phileo". That's putting it mildly. This was me this morning.

It's Monday. I began my day without phileo. All is not lost however; when the children come home, I will tell them what a blessing they are to me, and that I love, love, love being a mom.

Phileo your family today.

Fight the good fight!


Nadiya's Mama said...

So glad I ran across this blog post! I hope "phileo" will one day become a part of common English, because it is such an important concept for modern-day mothers (and apparently circa-Christ-era mothers too)! Dads have little problem with showing phileo to (philleting?) their children, but it is often our biggest struggle as moms!

Thanks for this post!

-also a girl named Jenny

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