Wednesday, June 9 |

I mean, REALLY?

I know, from experience, about divorce, and baggage, and being stuck with the x in-laws for the rest of your life. Or, at least for the rest of your child's life. But I have to admit, here's a twist I never thought I'd be faced with: the x husband fathering another child some months after the divorce, and that child locating my child some fourteen years later.

And of course they want to meet. Nothing wrong with that - I just found my biological father after over thirty five years. But here's the stinker - he doesn't have a car, she doesn't have a car, so they want her mom and me to drive them to a location to meet each other. And I'm under the impression her mother thinks we're going to hang out and chit-chat while the kids are getting to know each other? Like I WANT to talk to this person? Not that there's anything wrong with her, I'm sure, but what are we supposed to talk about? What subject would we have to discuss? Other than the obvious, I mean. And really, seriously, I DO NOT want to go there. 

So here's how it all played out: she (the girl), finds my son on Facebook (i'm going to shoot whomever thought up this beast), tells him she's his half sister (which she is, by the way. There's no doubt about it). They get all excited and want to meet. The girl's mother, whom I actually knew for a brief time, is interested in talking to me. What am I supposed to say? Um, sorry, but I have no interest in swapping stories with you, thank you very much. I'd rather not revisit the past, if you don't mind. No, I try to be polite. Hi, how are you? Where do you live? How many kids do you have? Yada, yada, yada. Next thing I know, they're wanting to meet. My boy's been asking for weeks to drive him somewhere to meet her. I've tried everything I could to discourage this, short of just being blunt and ugly about it, which is just not in me to do.

Then, yesterday, her mother wants to know if she can call me to discuss them getting together. Again, I have nothing against them meeting. They're related for crying out loud. But why do I have to be involved?? So what am I supposed to tell him? "Tell her I don't want her calling me?" Fine, tell her to call tomorrow afternoon. And of course she calls. She wants to get the kids together. Granted, she's offering to drive almost twice as far as me for them to meet. But I still try to discourage it. "Oh... well.. I have three toddlers, and it would be kind of hard with them...." But she was persistent.

So. Monday. At the mall. And I think she's under the impression she and I are going to hang out together while the two of them get some face-time. I'm just completely grossed out by all this. What else was I supposed to do? Just say no, they have to wait until one of them gets a car? Is that fair to them? After all, I had to wait till I had my own kids to find out about my father. And what would that say to her mom, if I refused to meet her? How would that make me look? What kind of Godly impression am I making on this woman? I don't know... Maybe the Lord will intervene in this. I just don't know how to handle it. Any advice??

I'll let you know how things end up.....


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