Thursday, April 22 |

Matt 5:44

"But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good unto them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you".

I have a Matt 5:44 person in my life. And I guess the only thing I can do, in fact, the thing I should've done to begin with, is to pray for her. Because I know that only God can make things right between she and I. Only He can put away the feelings I have for this woman.

I didn't even realize just how bad it was until I confessed to my husband last night that I would be glad when she was gone from this earth. Not that I wish for to to die, but that I'll be happier when she's gone. But then the next logical question is, does she know the Lord? Well, obviously not, or else I wouldn't be having this problem with her. So do I wish she'd go to hell? Because that's where she'd go, at this point, if she died. Again, obviously not. I  would never wish that on anyone. Even her. So what's left to do? Pray. Pray that this (gulp) hatred would be replaced by a supernatural love. Pray that she would some day come to know the Lord as Savior. (That would certainly take care of a LOT of people's problems)! And pray that instead of wanting to put myself as far away from her as possible, to be an example to her. To put aside my fears, insecurities, and negative feelings, to stop thinking about me, but to think of her, and how desperately she needs the Lord in her life.

Help me out here, ladies. There are many years of emotional baggage that come with this. This woman has been a part of my life since I was seventeen. She's a manipulator, a user, a controller. She raised her kids by herself, because of those very characteristics, and she's been alone since they all moved out. I know she wants desperately for someone to love her, but she doesn't know how to truly love anyone herself. And every time I get involved with her.... I get so upset I want to throw up. From anger, resentment, and bitterness (what's that verse....?) And now my oldest son is caught in the middle, so not only am I reliving the past every time I get involved with her, but now I have to watch my son follow the same path. Help me pray that the Lord will replace these feelings I have for her, and that not only would I learn to (gulp) love her, but to be a Godly influence on her. If ever I needed a prayer group, it's now. Will you pray with me??


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